down in the mouth

Friends, in the words of Meg Murray, I am full of bad feeling today.

Yesterday, I worked for seven hours at two different jobs. Lance had his first day back on the job and I began to feel melancholy. Summer is over, it is sad that we have to return to the hard part of our life where we don’t see each other so much. That instead of getting a ride into town after work, I was stuck taking the bus. That I would have to run an assortment of errands before my appointment rather than outsourcing them to my house-boyfriend. That I couldn’t just call him whenever I wanted to, just to say hi.

Then, I went to the dentist.

I went because I thought I was getting a cavity. It had been almost one year exactly since my last appointment and cleaning, and I thought I found a pretty good deal for a consult, cleaning, and potentially a filling.

You see, I am a person that does not have dental insurance. I missed my first 6 month appointment in 26 years, because I do not have a local dentist or any insurance to entice me to go. But I didn’t wait THAT long, people.

Apparently it was long enough to grow FIVE CAVITIES.

The potential cost to fix my broken teeth was enough to make me weep behind my sunglasses while I walked the mile back to my apartment.

Yes, you see, I used to be That Girl Who Cries While Driving A Car. Now, I am That Girl Who Cries Walking Down the Street, or sometimes That Girl Who Cries on the Green Line.

I just watched this video about becoming an adult and it helped me think about why I am so upset.

The crushing monotony of brushing and flossing every day, of going to the dentist when I am supposed to…

… and the paralyzing terror that I CANNOT EVEN SUCCEED AT KEEPING MY TEETH ANCHORED IN MY OWN MOUTH.

So yes, I’m going to cry all the way down Huntington Ave, because life is not fair, good things don’t always happen to me, I am underemployed and underinsured, and my teeth hurt.

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3 Responses to “down in the mouth”

  1. I’m sorry. I feel your pain. I am also underemployed and underinsured. (As is my husband we’re paying off his $1700 dental bill due to lack of insurance).

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