how to do a friday

1. Wake up and immediately snap at your boyfriend for not setting your alarm clock.

And then feel bad as soon as he walks out the door.

2. Have a mimosa to drown your sorrows.

Drinking before 8 a.m. is not standard procedure, but I was having a rough morning!

3. Try not to make too many snarky comments and alienate your friends.

Just kidding about the alcoholism. It was a Royal Holiday so my roommate and friend-in-Children’s-Lit were having a Royal Slumber Party/Breakfast Celebration.

I mostly just felt bad for the poor kids. Who wants their (somewhat boring) wedding watched by ALL OF THE FREAKING WORLD?

They probably wanted to elope.

And no, I cannot say no to a mimosa.

4. Explore the myriad of reasons you will never be a professional photographer.

This thing keeps happening to me and I do not know why:

People keep thinking that I am a qualified photographer and ask me to take pictures of events.

It’s not that I don’t want to take pictures of events! I work for free, out of the goodness of my own heart, and I’m glad to do it.

I just don’t know why they keep asking.

This has been going on since high school.

Anyway, today, I realized that I am, perhaps, fundamentally incapable of:

A) being subtle

B) asking people for their names

C) staying on my feet for extended periods of time without contracting severe shoulder pain

(complicated by a heavy camera hanging from the neck)

However, I took pictures of an event for 4 hours or so today. It was a scream.

5. Come home and promptly procrastinate everything that needs to be done

Namely, reading, cleaning, errand-running, and paper-writing.

6. Clean apartment madly for an hour when boyfriend’s parents declare their eminent arrival at your pigsty apartment.

Madness. Madness!

Side effect: the apartment now looks really nice.

My desk hasn’t been this clean in months!

Assuming you ignore the heaping piles of schoolwork.

7. When parents fail to arrive, drink wine and read books.

this one is the most important.

if you don’t do it, it’s probably not Friday.


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