crunch time

Judging by my lack of composure surrounding other big changes in my life – see Leaving For College (2003) and Graduating From College (2007) – I expected to be freaking-the-eff-out right about now. I am moving. Next week. To a new state that is many states away. I am leaving my job, starting a new school, leaving my parents and moving in with my boyfriend.

Holy. Moley.

But I feel fine. I really do. I’m busy, yeah. I’m too busy to get myself to the gym at any effective level. I’m too busy to deal with other people’s divorces (sorry, friends, try me in a month). But when I’m busy, the things I’m doing don’t seem terribly overwhelming.

I’m packing.

I’m throwing away stuff.

I’m making decisions over the telephone.

I’m cleaning.

I’m at work.

I’m spending some QT with my family.

All in all, I feel like the things I need to get done will get done in a timely manner. It’s like my Packing For Vacation Motto: You can either do it slowly and take a week or do it an hour before you have to leave, but you’ll still get where you are going and forget 10% of the stuff you need. Yeah, I’m calm now, and getting everything together on Wednesday morning might suck, but then I’ll be in the green pick-up truck and it will be done.

How very zen of me, right?

Or probably, I just used up all my panic back in January, when I was applying madly for too many schools. Or in March, waiting for the letters in my mailbox. Or in April, when the decisions hadn’t been quite made. In April I was a basket case. I wasn’t too pleasant during the month of June either. Toward the end of July, things slowed down, and now, in August, I’m zen.

Things are scary, sure… probably more scary than Leaving For College (2003), but I was 18 then and I’m 24 now. I was going to a school where I knew no one, and while I don’t have many contacts in the entire state of Massachusetts, I’ve been there, done that, and came out with lifelong friends. Plus, I have someone by my side. But the obstacles ahead of me are tangible. I know what I have to do.

– I have to put all my things in boxes, and put them in the back of a truck.

– I have to drive for 15 hours.

– I have to meet with my broker and get my key.

– I have to get all of my belongings up 3 flights of stairs.

– I have to acquire things on the cheap, things like lightbulbs, trash cans, dinner plates, and a futon frame.

– I have to get the pick-up back to Michigan before September.

– I have to find a way back to Boston.

– I have to report for work on the 28th (or the 31st… oh yeah, did I mention I got a job?)

– I have to buy books.

– I have to go to class.

– I have to come up with $1200 before October 1.

I can do it. I will do it. I’m Zen Moving Jessica, ignoring anything that might mess with my mojo so I can physically and emotionally make it through the next few weeks of my swiftly changing life so I don’t accidentally explode.


2 Comments to “crunch time”

  1. im strangely calm, too. granted, i have almost a week more to go than you, but still im surprised at myself. im hoping it will stay this way, but it just so happens to be that time of the month next week, so ill probably be an overly-emotional mess

  2. Boston’s an awesome city for a student. Excellent public transportation and lots of places to go! You’ll be set and settled and start enjoying the hectic pace before you know it!

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