not the same after that

There are very few moments in my life when I feel that all is right with the world.

Most of those moments occur directly before or after sleep.

Everything’s in flux right now. When I’m awake, there are decisions to make, things to think about, choices to second guess. Third guess. Two hundred and twenty-fifth guess. So when I’m not working and not decision making, I’m in some stage of zoning out. This makes me a very uninteresting person, I’m afraid. I’m pretty sure nobody wants to talk to me anymore.

This will probably go on for some time.

In July, I’m going to Chicago for a day, driving to Boston and back, taking a week off work to start packing/getting rid of stuff, and working 30 hours a week in the meantime.

In August I’ll be finishing up in Michigan and moving. So many details are up in the air that I can’t even worry myself over them individually. Just thinking about the word AUGUST is enough to ruin my lunch.

In September, I’ll be going back to school. Figuring out how to survive in a new city. Getting a job. Freaking out. Et cetera.

So don’t expect much from me in September.

October, I think I’ll be okay.

In October, I’m going to celebrate surviving July, August, and September.

I bought tickets yesterday.


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