nerves

I have trouble remembering this is my last year in Michigan.

A Brief Timeline of Jessica’s Life

1985 – Born

1997 – Am uprooted from rural Flemington, New Jersey life to less-rural Jackson, Michigan life, just in time for 8th grade

2003 – Graduate from high school, move into dorm room in Mount Pleasant, Michigan.

2005 – Move off campus to a generic apartment rental with friends.

2006 – Move into creaky old 1970s house rental with friends.

2007 – Graduate college, move back home to Jackson, and into little sister’s bedroom.

2009 – Start grad school in a location yet to be determined.

This year’s move will be the only move of my life that was organic, MY choice 100%, and not forced upon me/expected of me in any way.

That is to say, this is the only Hard Choice I’ve had to make. The rest? I took the path of least resistance. This time, it’s all on me.

So it’s easier to simply NOT think about it and forget it’s going to happen.

But it is.

In 6 months.

In 6 months I will be leaving the state.

I will be moving in with my boyfriend.

I will be starting graduate school.

I will be surviving without my parent’s money.

I will be responsible for my own tuition, rent, health care, groceries, laundry, emergencies, safety, social life…

I am starting The Rest of My Life, but I am leaving behind another life. One that I like a lot. One where I am with my family many hours of the day. I am an hour away from my sister, in the same city as one of my best friends, I have health insurance and a steady paycheck and a car and a support system.

I am giving that all up.

What do I get in return?

My independence. The beginnings I will need to eventually start my own family. The education required to advance my career. The experience of living somewhere new, in a big city. The life I’ve dreamed of with the man I love.

…….

…….

I am scared shitless.

But hopefully, once these 6 months are over, I’ll won’t have to take a 2 hour detour home, over icy country roads, because there’s a 50+ car pileup on the highway.

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2 Comments to “nerves”

  1. despite being nerve-racking, how very exciting 😀

  2. yikes, stop saying “in 6 months”! that means mine is 6 months away too… im scared to death but not ballsy enough to blog about it, kudos on that.

    and YAY for living with your boy! i didnt know he was going with you, thats exciting enough in itself.

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