Yesterday morning, my boyfriend left me.
Positively ABANDONED ME!
Okay, cease dramatics. Boyfriend hopped on the Fung Wah bus and four hours later arrived in Some Other Big Fancy City where he is spending the next four days with his best friend since Kindergarten who has been living overseas for over two years.
You know… this one:
Boyfriend has never been to NYC, so while I am a little bummed that A) I am stuck at home and B) I am missing out on his blissed-out, new-city, i-love-to-travel cuteness, I am ultimately happy he is having a little adventure over his spring break.
Also, I get to behave like a crazy person.
I think the ladies from Sex and the City would call these my Secret Single Behaviors.
I think it’s more like when I leave Boyfriend alone for a few days and come home and the cupboards are bare because he never went to the store and instead made dinner from a dusty old can of beans, some soy sauce, and a freezer-burned bag of corn.
To each his own.
So this is what I will be up to for the next four days:
1) Watching DVDs I’ve seen 47,600 times
Boyfriend makes fun of me when I watch the same movie more then once a month,
so I better watch them all before he gets back so he won’t know I’ve already put in my July quota of inane comedies!
2) Eating Bizzarely
I make fun of that Boyfriend a lot for being a really silly eater. The last time he lived alone in an apartment, he ate all of his meals out of a single tupperware dish (that I accidentally left in his sink) for an entire year. A typical meal was a bowl of raw oats, mixed nuts, raisins, peanut butter, and a banana, all doused with milk.
Anyway. I shouldn’t talk. Yesterday, this was my eating pattern:
- 2 fried eggs
- half a bag of cherries
- almond butter on a spoon
- leftover lentil salad
- more cherries
- mixed nuts
- an entire cucumber with hummus
- more almond butter on a spoon
- yogurt with honey and blueberries
- more lentil salad
What is this thing you call “meal?”
I, apparently, have little room to talk.
And no time to talk because my mouth is constantly full of food.
Also: when Lance is away, I find myself returning to that Sixth Food Group I love so very much:
Hopefully I’ll be able to clear out the egg smell from the fridge before Mr. Whiney Pants comes home to complain.
3) Getting far, FAR too much sleep
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii was in bed for 12 hours last night.
I had a migraine yesterday, so I think I get an out for going to bed at 9:30.
But that doesn’t really explain why I didn’t get UP until 9:30.
I had good company, though.
So if you are looking for me this week, I will be
and eating deviled eggs.
Hopefully Lance doesn’t read this. When he sees what his other option is, he might just stay in That Other City forever.