Q: Hey, Jessica. How’s it going today?
A: Oh, not too bad I guess. A little bummed that the weekend is over. I am officially that person who wishes for the next weekend on Sunday night. That really, exceedingly old person.
Q: But it’s only 9:15… isn’t the evening still a bit young? Shouldn’t you at least wait for one weekend to end before pining for the next?
A: Well, you see, I go to bed at 10:00 p.m.
Q: Are you shitting me?
A: Um. No. I started going to bed at 10 last November so I could get up early and work on writing. I stopped getting up so early at some point, but I still go to bed at 10.
Q: Okay. So how was your weekend, you old crone?
A: It was good! Picked up my first CSA farmshare of the season. Cleaned the apartment. Read a book. Cooked up a frickin’ storm. Worked on a little homework. Oh, and I dyed my hair all by myself! And then Softscrubbed the bathroom sink, all by myself.
Q: Well aren’t you a busy little beaver. Do you feel a little less senile now that your gray roots are gone?
A: Hey now. Why are you always so dang judgmental, interior interviewer?
Q: Why do you think I’m so dang judgmental?
A: I don’t want to get all metaphysical right now. But you should try to be a little bit less of a jerkface if you’re going to take the time to interview me.
Q: Point taken. Okay, so how can you keep such a busy life organized? It must be very challenging.
A: Well, on Friday I spent about an hour making a couple of really cool spreadsheets. Do you want to see them?
Q: Oh, certainly.
A:
See, there’s room for scheduling and short term goals long term goals and day to day stuff and meal plans and spending. It’s pretty much the ultimate brain organizing tool.
Q: So, you have one of these for every day of your life?
A: Yes, essentially.
Q: Two full-pages of organizing required for each of your 24 hours of life?
A: Mmmmhmmm.
Q: Well, aren’t you industrious and organized and super-smart?
A: Why, thank you.
